How to make a crap pasta sauce

You will need:

Basil (poor guy... he gets it bad...)
Thyme
1 jar Sainsbury's Double Concentrate Tomato Puree
An onion
A carrot
Some brown sugar
An Actimel probiotic yoghurt

Peel and chop the carrots, add a sprinkling of thyme and boil for 10 minutes. Add bits of chopped onion to boiling carrots (mainly because you don't know what the heck else to do with them, they won't cook in the sauce and you only have 2 hobs) and boil for 5 more minutes. Take carrots off the boil and drain off water. Attempt to tip tomato puree into the pan, then after several moments realise it isn't coming out of the jar. Scrabble around in utensil drawer, find a random fork and scoop out a large lump of the stuff. Add a considerably too generous sprinkling of basil because the lid came off as you were tipping it. Sprinkle a reasonable amount of brown suger on top, because you can. Put resulting mixture back on the hob and realise that it's too thick to be a sauce. Ransack fridge for 1 minute trying to find something to thin it out. Settle on probiotic yoghurt. Stir thoroughly while cooking until you realise the pasta's been on too long. Serve and eat.

Or, alternatively, don't. It was foul.

Sorry for not posting in a while - I've had lots of settling in & stage management to do. I hope you, yes you, the random reader, are well. I am. At the moment, anyhoo. When that sauce gets a little bit further through my digestive system I may not be so peachy.